So I've been down for a while, and avoid talking to him, since I want to stop trouble him or rely on him. I have no reasons more to do so, but I end up doing the same thing again, I hate how I am right now, so I tried to run away from him. Why do he always have to show up when I need someone? I know I need to get over him, but at the same time, I know I couldn't. I don't want this feeling to break the only relationship we are having right now. I don't want to trouble him anymore. I'll try not to rant to him next time, I'll try to remind myself about the difference right now. I, have to wake up. Stop dreaming about stuff I know it wouldn't happen, heh.
Do you know I miss you? Do you know I want to hug you? Do you know.. Do you know.. I knew he will never read this, it's fine to write anything here. I'm a coward, Claire. Like you told me, but I know there's no reason for me to bug or chase over him if he feels better without me as a lover. All I ask for, is him to be happy. As long as I could stay around him, it's more than enough. And this, is my true feelings, I'm not writing this to make you guys think of me fondly or something.
