Another rainy day.

A lot happened.

2010-12-16T23:22:00.000-08:00

14th December 2O1O was my last day wearing uniform.
Yes, finally, no more school, no more teachers.. no more class.
But yet, I feel a little sad for leaving my friends.

My cousin, aunt and nephews came to visit for almost a week.
We went to the crocodile farm, the zoo, and many place.
I had fun, it's been quite a while since I last feel like this.

As for my car license, my tutor and my dad seems to have a little arguement.
I hope everything goes well, I hope I'll get that license soon.
It stress me. /Sigh.

I notice that I'm no longer needed by my friends.
Everyone got someone new to hang out with.
Time to let go? I smiled, so it's finally coming to me.

It's getting too complicated.

2010-12-10T05:21:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to approach the one I liked anymore.
I don't know.. /Sigh.

Now my best friend cried because something happened between me and his gf.
I wasn't the one who started it, but was it better if I never exist?

I'm so tired, I want to.. end this, end myself, if possible.
I'm so sick of these stuff, everything gets worst day by days.

I used to have strength to move on because I have him.
I know I should rely on him too much.. So I lied, I said I'm going to give up.

But the truth is.. I'm tired.. everything's making me sick.
It's too tiring, I want a break.. I'm tired of how everything are right now.

If I could make a wishes, I'd wish for him to come back.
And the second, I'd wish for my friend to be happy..
Even that means I'll need to disappear from his life, I'll do it.

Now... I'm too tired.. Someone... Save me..?

The hut.

2010-12-07T17:33:00.000-08:00

Last night me and my family went to the hut to attend my relative's son "full moon" dinner. :/ It's a restaurant in City Mall. :3
The food there is great, but the restaurant is too small for us to get it. =A =;
So they get us table outside and told us to sit, but there's no chair for us to? ;;
~~Lack of common sense, are they telling us to sit on the floor!?~~
When we asked for some extra chair, the servant only said "Sorry, there's no more chair." So yeah, we end up standing there for a long time, until they finally get us some chairs. :C
~~Sorry, Cousin, I stole your chair! 8D ;;~~
After the meal, Jet suggest we should go for a walk outside, since no one wants to follow, we go out on our own.It was fun. xD
We keep walking in those shops in the mall talking about every products without wanting to buy it, I bet they all thought we might just buy it because we take many times to decide which product is better. xD

Nothing much happens after that, we return to the restaurant and go back home. :3

It's been 6 day!?

2010-12-06T04:26:00.000-08:00

It's been six day since my last post. >A >;
I'm sorry guys, I totally forgot about my blog.~
/Begs for forgiveness. Forgive me, ~~my darlings, my wives, my...~~ my friends. ;A ;

A lot have happened in past 6 days,
My dad lost his wallet when we went out to breakfast the other day.
He's pissed, and after that, he's not in a good mood, for days.
I hope he'll be better soon, he sounds sad, why? ._.

I've been talking to Mr. Dust-Ding lately, he's fun to talk to, as usual.
I enjoy talking to him, he could put a smile on my face easily.
I don't know what is him & Claire talking about today..
Claire actually tried to put me in a box, yay, box, I mean.. no.

I don't really want to bring this up, but since Mr. Dust-Ding might be reading this..
"CHEER UP, AND SMILE, HON." I don't know, I feel like you're not really happy for past few days, please cheer up. <3
~~As I said, you're cuter when you smile. I'll just share you my rice again, K?~~
I don't know what to write about you.
But, thank you for talking to me lately, that make me happy.
Everyday is great ~~at your Junes~~ just because you talked to me~! (;
Sorry if I disappoint you, I don't know what to write.
/breaks down crying.

~~And AND! I sorry I kicked.. Nevermind.~~ Bye~ 8D

Today was crazy.

2010-11-30T03:56:00.000-08:00

Another friend of mine passed away after he attempts to kill himself for several times, he finally left without saying goodbye.

I miss him, he was one of my bestest buddy ever.

Why do you have to go, James?

You promised you wouldn't left me, especially when I needed you!

You liar, you LIAR! How could you lie to me.. how could you?

Now, I dislike all those who doesn't cherish their lifes.

James, I'm sure you regrets it, look at your parents.

You thought they never care, but now, they all cried because of you.

But still, what happens already does. /Sigh.

I miss you, I still do, I won't stop missing you.

Your smile, your dirty jokes, the way you care for me..

Those memories you gave me remain in my heart, forever.

I love you, buddy.. Take good care of yourself in the heaven.

Grow up?

2010-11-29T06:15:00.000-08:00

Today, I've been able to talk to him again.
But he's talking with Claire.
Claire, Claire, Claire.. Someone that likes to dig in my mailbox. D;<
If you ever do that again, I'll kill you, Claire. I mean it.
What does it means by "grown in person"?
Brother told me I've been doing good so far, but I didn't even realize what I did.
"Love myself for who I am."? I'll try that? xD
Brother explains that means people thinks I'm lack of confidence. o;
I should be more... confident, for myself, not for others.
Hmm, I'll try and achieve that, I'm sure I could do it if I try harder. <3
~~I'm awsome, so I knew I could do it. 8D~~

Finally.

2010-11-27T21:35:00.000-08:00

I mailed him, We talked.
The only way I could feel better, I guess.
But, what could I do next?
Nothing, right? Nothing.
I wish I have enough courage to tell him what I feel again.
But I'm afraid he would feels awkward because I bring it up again.
I'll just talk to him, again and again.
It makes me feels painful when I couldn't hold him in the way I want to.
/Sigh. I miss him, I miss him.

Sorry.

2010-11-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

I couldn't do this anymore. I miss him.
Pretending that I've already moved on was the worst plan ever.
But I don't know what to do, I'm so worried.
What if he left me even as a friend?
I'm happy enough just to be able to talk to him.
He's the only idiot in my mind for the whole time.
What am I doing? What am I gonna do?
I don't know anymore, I'm gonna crush myself, soon.

Cousin.

2010-11-27T17:39:00.000-08:00

My Cousin come over to play a day before yesterday.
He keep telling me to play the Ps2's game, named Silent Hill 4; The room.
Since I got the kick ass cheat codes, the ghost could never hurt me.
He's a bit scared everytime we play that game or telling him some ghost stuff.
But since I got the cheat, I told him it's okay.
We end up laughing when I play that game.
Silent Hill is a bit scary tho, you guys should try and search for it's story.
It's an awsome game, I've enjoy it so far, haha.
Apart from that, I've found a very scary internet game; The House.
Tell me if you're interested, I could just share the link.

朋友。

2010-11-25T05:57:00.000-08:00

朋友，是我生命里其中一样重要的角色。
我们一起分享快乐、伤心、生气、许多许多的回忆。
我承认，我朋友可以算是多…
但是我最最最麻吉的也就只有我两个老婆；
-企鹅
-眼镜蛇。
因为她们和我经过了很多事情，
“朋友”这个词不够形容她们了。
所以说，你们两个是我重要的“老婆”。
偶尔，企鹅吃醋…我了解。
可是我也希望你们了解…
你们两个要是同时掉下水；
我可能会跳下去一起淹死，
而且可以很肯定当时的我一定会因为紧张你们而忘记自己不会游泳这件事。
这点证明，你们两个都很重要。
这点，不管你们问多少次…我都有信心100%的回答你们同样答案。
最近毕业了，我开始烦恼…
要是开始工作了…我们的感情会变冷吗？
我害怕死了，你们会这样想吗？
也许不会吧？有时，我甚至觉得…其实有没有我…都无所谓吧？
要是那是事实，请务必告诉我…
我想，至少我有权利知道，我应不应该再付出我对你们的感情。
好像说太暧昧了，今天的心情…一下子就跌入谷底…郁闷。

SPM has started for few days.

2010-11-25T00:41:00.000-08:00

We have finish 4 exams out of 7 so far.

Now I'm worried, what do we have to do after everything's done?

I've been closing down my blog for a day, and edited it.

I hope you guys like the new blog's design.

Don't be angry, Kay? I was just bored about my old blog's style.

A lot has changed lately, the one I use to hope sticking around with everyday..

I was not able to face him anymore, I hope I could, deep inside my heart.

And, I'm gonna try, I want to face him again.

Like I use to, I like always do, in the past.

Though, things might be different now,

I've promised to be his best friend no matter what.

I'm not gonna put myself down in this depression any longer.

As for my heart, I'll just let it be, I knew it will still follow the same person as it used to.

But I've decide not to be depressed, or down.

Sorry for making my buddies worry for me.

I'm making another promise here;

I'm gonna learn how to like myself more..

Be more confident, I'm not gonna let you guys down!

2010-11-23T05:08:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of my SPM [ Finals],

Finally finished the subject I was worried about; Malay.

I think I could finally get some sleep tonight.

I'm feeling great right now. (:

Not only the first day of my finals make today special..

Today's also the birthday of 7 of my beloved friends, and my brother.

Happy b'day all buddies, and my brother! >u <

All I could say is, today is like.. a totally awsome day!

Tomorrow's subject will be English, I can handle it... I know I can. 8))

3 days left.

2010-11-20T05:36:00.000-08:00

I'm totally stressed, but I'll still give it a go!

I'll just bear with if for another 10 days!

After exams, I'll start solving my problems one by one.

I know I could do it, because you guys are supporting me, right?

I won't disappoint you guys!

As for relationship, I'd try to relax after this.

I'll just see what will actually happen.

...I hope it will turn out to something I've always wish it would be, though.

Now, now.. I'm sleepy. My life is always better in my dreams,

I wish I would never wake up? Joking, kay?

But seriously, time for bed~!

5 days left!

2010-11-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

Spm is closer & closer, I'm gonna study hard! Read, read and read! I really need to concentrate for this exam, it's pretty important.

Wish all others the best luck as well, Gambateh! <3

I noticed my Gaia avatar and everything I wrote & how I act, I think I'm slowly become someone else, is it because I'm running away from my true feelings that cause this? I realize that I really miss talking to him, though. But I couldn't really face him, I'm nothing but a failure, seriously.

...No time for this, I can just go emo after my exams. ;; That's all for now.

Gaduation Day.

2010-11-15T06:08:00.000-08:00

Today it's our form five's graduation day!

It doesn't sounds as interesting, though.

It was all day long boring.

I didn't even cry or feel anything special.

But I could say that I'd really miss my friends if we have to part our ways.

Especially Michelle, and Ling; They are my Wives. xD

And also Kah Yee, Bih Wei, Immaculate, Wendy & Nicky.

As for guys; Soo, Malvin, Liaw and Peter. [ Though Peter can be annoying sometimes, haha. ]

But there must be s day that we need to part our ways.

Accept it or not, it's how life goes on.

But all we need to know it;

The time and memories we share together will not be replaced or forgotten.

Though we have part our ways, our friend ship will still last.. forever.

Thanks for giving me these beautiful memories, friends.

You guys rocks my world. (:

I'm so full!

2010-11-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

My sister's "mee"

The buns and pizza, we already ate half of those.

Today I followed my mother and aunt to Karamunsing, for shopping of course.

So, I ate something before I go our with them, and my brother wasn't feeling well.. so he didn't eat anything.

My mother ordered for some "Kui Teow" for herself and some mee for my sister.

And as usual, my sister couldn't finish her meal, so my mother told me to eat it up.

I nodded my head and start eating, then I notice my aunt ordered for tons of food because she thought we aren't ordering anything at all, so she ordered some pizza, buns and "rojak".

Me & my brother was told to help eating those foods, and the bread my mother bought me. After that, I was really full.. =A =;

My aunt went to a computer shop after wards to take her computer back from the shop. I saw a small looking notebook and it's function looks awsome! it only cost like.. $1299. /Sigh. I wish I could have one. In my dream, yes? ;;

I'll work for it myself if my parents can't afford it for me!

I want to buy my own stuff instead of rely on my parents.

I've already waste too much of their money..

Hopefully, I'll be able to work after my studies. (:

I have to sleep now, I'm even drinking warm milk.

Nai nai all.

我放弃。

2010-11-12T18:23:00.000-08:00

对不起~又忘了写网志…这几天有点忙，表弟来我家玩，最后我也跑到他家去过了一夜。
去到却发现很多事情都变了，好像多了点点的距离…少了点点的亲切。
也许他说得对，“人总会改变的，只是看你能不能去接受这个事实而已。”…
我已经失去和他说话的勇气和力气了，我只能说；
“对不起” 我不够勇气面对你。
“对不起”我冷漠的回应你。
“对不起”我试着离开你。
“对不起”我真的真的想放弃。
“对不起”我不能在想着你。

是时候放手就该放手…我们的距离，相信你最清楚。

“对不起”，原谅我。

Damien. November 12 2010. I'll miss you.

2010-11-09T23:15:00.000-08:00

This Pic was taken in my class, You can see me in the reflection of the glasses. 8)

Ah, I forgot to write here yesterday! Forgive me, I'll write it now. (:

So yeah, I'm gonna post two entries today, then!

Yesterday's Tuesday, it's our "meeting" day as usual, it's boring, nuff' saying.

But we had fun after the meeting, we played the card game named "UNO".

But, in a different style, it's named as "Liar".

So, after everyone got the cards, we start the game.

The "head", means the first one who give out their card could give whatever he/she wants. As an example. "Three reverse card."

The others can either flip the cards of the person before them, or follow the order and give out the card. Lying will be the only way to win in this game.

Try to trick all people that your card was something else, the first one who ran out of cards will be the winner, of course. And if you guessed it wrong for example.

A; "Three "3" cards."

B; /Flipped the cards, and the cards is actually 3 as the person said.

If that's what you got, you have to take back all the card on the table,

But if that person was lying and you caught her/him, that person will get all the cards. It's rather fun when all people are "lying" together, lol.

And yes, I've been playing that for all day long, It's addictive.

2010-11-08T03:36:00.000-08:00

It's another rainy day today, it's freezing since morning.
So, we have this weird and boring reading program.
We all are ordered to sit in the meeting hall for 45+ minutes to read a book.
My back hurts too bad because of the wooden bench we were sitting on was really.. hard. Lol.
Everything's boring, we sat there for 45+ minutes, all we get is a certificate saying "Congratulations! You've take part in the national reading program!"
Oh, how great is that.~ /Obviously ranting. ;;

Other than that, I've been playing persona 4 again, thanks to a friend who show me the funny version of Persona 4's story. Thanks, Hun. Everything affects me today, I'm still in a slightly sad mood.
But I'm really feeling better, I've been avoid being online the whole day..
Because I knew there's 4 of my friends were gonna leave me today, and is waiting to say goodbye to me personally. I'm sorry, I'll be online tomorrow, even if you guys decide to leave, come back when you guys need someone to talk to or a listener. Xii will always got you guys back, and that's.. my promise.

Nicky, if you read this, you better come to school soon with my two packs of cookies.
I've been waiting for those since.. past two weeks! You liar! /Rage rage rage.
You need to bring me those if you want me to stop being mad.
Yes, I'm such a greedy person. But you promised me it will be doubled, so yes. TWO PACKS OF COOKIES. /mumbles.

....You better remember this, Nicky. You better do...

True Wish.

2010-11-07T05:32:00.000-08:00

So I've been down for a while, and avoid talking to him, since I want to stop trouble him or rely on him. I have no reasons more to do so, but I end up doing the same thing again, I hate how I am right now, so I tried to run away from him. Why do he always have to show up when I need someone? I know I need to get over him, but at the same time, I know I couldn't. I don't want this feeling to break the only relationship we are having right now. I don't want to trouble him anymore. I'll try not to rant to him next time, I'll try to remind myself about the difference right now. I, have to wake up. Stop dreaming about stuff I know it wouldn't happen, heh.

Do you know I miss you? Do you know I want to hug you? Do you know.. Do you know.. I knew he will never read this, it's fine to write anything here. I'm a coward, Claire. Like you told me, but I know there's no reason for me to bug or chase over him if he feels better without me as a lover. All I ask for, is him to be happy. As long as I could stay around him, it's more than enough. And this, is my true feelings, I'm not writing this to make you guys think of me fondly or something.

This is my true wish right now.

Move forward!

2010-11-06T07:10:00.000-07:00

Today's another boring day, I've been online for the whole day.
But yet, not much interesting happens. Well, not until the night.
My friend, Yim came to visit me, I was really happy, we haven't been able to talk nor meet up more than 6 months! So we had a lot to talk and share with, I'm glad we seems as close as we use to be, nothing have change, nothing will change.
Seeing her makes me feels all, cheered up. I can move on, I could.
Because I notice that time really flies, many things already become part of my past,
I didn't really notice it until she brings it up, everything back in the past.
When how I use to hang out with her, and share our secrets and chat.
So, yeah. Xii will move forward! I won't stop here, I'm not going to stop here!

Fun Day.

2010-11-04T19:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was like, whoa.. A fucking awsome day.
So me and my friends were planning to have steamboat together.
So, I went straight to Ling's house after school. We had fun together,
watching movies and stuff, talking. Ah, did I mention she had wonderful room?
Her house, family and herself are all so.. How to describe it?
It makes me feels like staying with them forever?
Haha, they make me feels very warm, how their family treat me.
and how the decorations of their house. Everything, seriously, everything is very warm.

After wards, we went to Lintas's Yoyo, me and my friends were hanging out their to wait for Michelle to come before we go to take the steamboat. She end up letting us taking a ride of her brother's car without needing us to walk to the shop, I was happy you know? Too lazy to walk.
But then, 5 minutes after we reach the shop, another friend of mine called my cell and tell me she was lost, so me and Ling walk out to the road nearby where she told us while other went and book the seats for us.

So we waited for my friend for like.. half an hour or so, she keeps calling me and asked where we are. Right before we almost run out of patience, Michelle called and told me KY [ Which if the friend we are waiting for ] was lost, so three of us went to find her.. I swear I felt guilty when I saw her crying alone nearby the road. So I walk to her and hold her hand and walk back to the shop we all were suppose to meet up without a word.

We ate a lots of stuff, I was lazy to go around to take some more so they all take care of it for me.
I don't even have to move, haha. Yeah, right. I'm lazy. o 3 o;
After we finish our meal, part of us decide to walk to the Suria Pool nearby.
So we part our ways and said goodbye.
It was fun, Thanks to Malvin & Soo, I was able to have fun playing snooker.
I never tried this, it's really interesting! <3
By the time we reach the pool, it was already 10pm if I didn't got it wrong.
My parents was calling and was angry about how I'm not home yet by that time.
But Ling's mother couldn't fetch us yet, so we played snooker until like... 11pm.
All I could remember is, I apologized to my parents when I reach home.
And finally go to bed. 12+ am.

Tho it was fun, I was feeling guilty to not be able to find KY before she lost her way.
I need to apologize to her, seriously.
And second, for making my parents worry, sorry.~

2010-11-02T03:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not updating my blog for days, my internet is having problems for past few days. Many things happen lately.

I break up with my hubby, I guess that's the best for him. Still, I'll never forget about this guy. He will always be special to me. I wish he'd be happy even without me.

Uhm, Back to me. 50% of my classmate didn't come to school for these few days, Lol. Teachers are all very angry about it. But all they could do is shake their heads and complains. I've been studying math for two days, it wasn't as hard as I thought after I come to understand those formulas. Thanks to my friends & my math Teacher. <3

The next subject will be Malay, Too much to read. I think my head will explode in no time. Whenever I open Malay's book, or just read anything about it, I think I could just fall asleep. =A =; Oh, how I hate Malay. I hope I could still manage to study and get a good result for my finals.

I heard that people always regret what they have done only after they did it, and it was already too late. ...Regrets? ...Regrets. everyone have the word "regret" in their life, don't they? I guess I don't have the right to regret what I've done. What should happen would happen anyways. Though, I admit. It brings me more pain than I ever thought. Let go wasn't so easy after all. Anyway, I'll stop here for today, today is another sad day.. /Sigh.

Finally, my first post.~

2010-10-25T04:59:00.000-07:00

It's been quite sometime since I last write something on my blog. I've delete my past entries because it really bring up the embarrassing part of my past, which I don't really want to remember any of it. ;;

Today was an awsome day, me and my friends were discussing homework after school. I could swear that we never try something like this before. But surprisingly, everything went well. we figure how to answer those questions in exams! But really, for lazy bums like us, talking about homework and exam is like a miracle, I really think if any teachers find out that we did it today, they would be shocked.

Since we never seems to try to do anything in the class, who would actually thought that we'd study after school? And almost all of us get the same expression from our parents when we told them we are staying after school for studying. "Is it only another excuse?" "Studying? Seriously?" We laughed after knowing each other get the same thing from our silly parents. But it proves that they never thought we would one day wanting to start studying seriously. It's partly our fault? ;;

Tomorrow, we are planning to stay for a few hours after school again for studying. Tomorrow's subject will be English! I'm a little happy, because I could get to help them on their homework tomorrow. Since my English is a bit better than others.

As for my hubby, we finally talked about something that was bothering me for quite sometime. And this time, I'm gonna start understand him more. I know I might not endure the pain if I lose him. That's why, I'll try it again and again, until he totally forgot that he could choose to leave me. I want to make him mine forever, I won't give up! Though I say this quite often, I love my idiot hubby. ❤